I need Book Six NOW!

I finally finished all five books in the Game of Thrones series.  I zipped through 1, 2 and 3, especially 3, a book I stayed up late at nights with, read while waiting in line at the grocery store and every time I had a free minute.  Four was slower and 5 the slowest of all.  I kept getting seduced by other authors while trying to finish it, and little book slut that I am, I went chasing after them.

There is a lot of travel in 4 and 5, and since they don’t have jets, it takes up a major portion of the books.  There’s no way around that; we need to start getting these characters together.  I know a lot of people didn’t like four or five after the non-stop action of three, but you can’t tell a proper story without taking the time to move the pieces around the chess board.

I am in shock over the holy shit way Book 5 ended, and now I have to wait years to talk to the TV viewers about it.  No spoilers from me; if you want to know who died, go read.

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Book One seemed more manageable with just seven POV characters, characters we come to love or hate due to learning so much about them.  By Book Five, there are 18 POV characters, and I had a hard time giving two shits for Aero Hotah, Quentyn Martell and Victarian Greyjoy, although I am looking forward to GRRM killing Victarian.  A new character showed up in 5 who is probably going to become one of the most pivotal ones in the series.

Random thought on everything so far:

How many times did the Starks warn everyone Winter is Coming?  If the tradition is a long winter follows a long summer, and since summer lasted nine years, maybe everyone should have put their stupid war on hold and harvested instead.  Of course, only the poor will suffer.  The rich will be fine and don’t care about the poor.  (Some things never change.)

In the TV show, Theon Greyjoy’s sister is named Yara, but in the books, her name is Asha.  I assume they changed that because there is also a character named Osha and they figured TV watchers are too stupid to tell the difference between such similar names.  They did the same thing with the name Robert.  One Robert was a king in King’s Landing and another was a prince in the Vale.  They changed the prince’s name to Robin for the TV show, as if viewers could not differentiate between a fat, drunken, whoring lout of a king, and an insipid, eight-year-old mama’s boy who is still on the breast.  Dear GOT TV writers: the general public knows the difference between Kim Kardashian and Kim Jon-Un.  We could have handled two Roberts.

After becoming acquainted with Marqhaz zo Lorag, Resnak mo Resnak, Yurkhan zo Yunzak, Yezzan zo Qaggaz, Hizdhar zo Loraq and Xaro Xhoan Daxos, I feel ready to take on Dostoevsky again.  Somehow. all those Russian names don’t intimidate me as much anymore.

In the show, Tyrion takes Podrick to a whorehouse to loose his V card.  Pays for it, too.  Podrick came back with the money, telling him the whores refused his money since he was such an exceptional lover.  In the books, Podrick is ten.  I know HBO needs to show as many tits as they can so I can’t fault them for that bit of lunacy.

I’ve now read 36 of the 37 books I told Goodreads I would read in their challenge in 2013.  That leaves me a month to read just one book.  Nah, that’s not gonna happen.

The TV show is lovely, but, as always, the books are so much better.  If you catch up on all the books, you can feel superior to the TV watchers, who think the Red Wedding was all that, and chuckle at their naiveté.

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