I joined Facebook for all the right reasons. Three years ago, the company I worked for laid off the entire workforce and outsourced our jobs. We knew it would be an easy way to keep in touch with each other. I might have suggested an alternate strategy if I knew how annoying Facebook would turn out to be.
My youngest was not amused when she found out I was joining. “You are never to ask to be my friend on Facebook.” OK, I understand about lines. A few years later she relented, and I resist the urge daily not to “like” everything she writes, and to never reply with, “Isn’t she just the cutest thing?” I still understand lines. She told me way back then the truest thing I have ever heard about Facebook. “Grownups screw it up.”
I have twenty-seven pictures of dogs each day to speed by. Can we agree that every single person on Facebook has seen every single canned photos of dogs that’s ever been snapped and we’re over it?
The dogs aren’t as bad as the veiled threats. “This post is to honor all those afflicted with [fill in the name of some disease]. Can I please ask you a favor and put this in your status for one hour? 87.3% of you won’t repost this but I know the few who will.”
“Please share this on the wall of every strong woman you know. If you don’t, I’ll understand that you don’t think much of me.”
“There are twenty angels in the world right now. Some are sleeping, some are playing and one is watching you read this. If you don’t click like in the next ten seconds, the angel will die and you will burn in hell.”
“Share this heart to prove you love your daughter.”
If you don’t click it, you must hate your Mom.
How did FB get so stupid? If I don’t share your idiotic plea, it must mean I want people to get sick? Since I am always a member of the 87.3 % so I must want those afflicted to be in excruciating pain? Do they really think you prove your friendship by sharing what they demand you share? And that Facebook is the place to prove you love your children?
I thought friendship was a tad more than that, and I assume I’ve proven my love to my kids each and every day of their lives.
“Share this now or it means you don’t believe in God, you hate soldiers and you want babies to die. ”
I know they really don’t believe the nonsense they post. They just can’t think of anything to write. They have to use pre-packaged stuff with pictures from somee-cards that we’ve all seen a million times.
I read an interview with Aaron Sorkin just as Social Network was about to come out. The reporter asked him if he was on Facebook. Sorkin said, “No, I just call a friend if I feel the need to tell him I had a really good cupcake.”
During Social Network, they debate monetizing the site, but were of the mind that it wouldn’t be cool anymore if there were ads.
It’s not the ads; it’s the grownups.